In 2006 and 2007 I thought I might fall in love....with no one in particular....
From 11-12-06
I've been away for a long time.
This time longer than before.
I haven't stopped talking to You,
But I've stopped feeling You inside.
I haven't stopped wanting You,
But I've stopped running after You.
I keep begging You to hold me tight,
But I'm the one that keeps letting go.
I keep looking for someone else to hold on to,
But no one else holds on like You.
I keep waiting for You to invite me back in,
But You've already told me I'm always welcome.
I have to come back to You because....
I belong with You.
From 1-21-07
What if they knew you already,
But I didn't?
I saw you differently this time.
You touched me;
I didn't pull away.
Could this be real?
Am I scared because it's you,
Or am I just scared?
Are you good at this?
I need you to be.
Can I forget what they said about you?
Can you become mine?
Even after you were theirs?
Can I know you beyond them?
From 1-25-07
I'm thinking of you.
I don't even know you.
I'm thinking of who I want you to be;
Who I hope you are.
It's the same with every one.
I make you who I want you to be.
It doesn't work.
Maybe I can make me want to know who you really are.
From 1-29-07
What if it was the end?
Would I be ready to go?
Of course I want to be with You,
But there is something here I want.
Love. Earthly love.
I want to know it.
Even if just so its imperfections can bring me back to You.
Can I know heavenly love better though the dissappointments of Earthly love?
I want to fall for it.
I know it will let me down.
But it will bring me running to You,
With a new passion.
And I'll be ready.
To go with You.
But if You said, "Come and go with me" today, would I go?
These are the depths of me
The parts I want you to see
The things I wish I could fix
The parts I don't understand
And the things I do to hide them
What if you fix the depths of me?
Shall I dig some other holes?
What if you understand the depths of me?
Are they not as deep as I thought?
Can you remove my depths?
It's not the depths of me
It's just me
I hide parts of me and bury them in the depths
So I can make you dig
Why is it taking you so long?
Then on 9-16-07
Micah 7:7-8
But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me. Do not rejoice over me, O my enemy. Though I fall I will rise; though I dwell in darkness, the Lord is a light for me.
